Originally Posted by Gottalife

When I was new in AA and had the opportunity to chair a meeting, I often put up a subject that, on the face of it, was a bit irrelevant. One was should I do the dishes before or after coming to a meeting. Older members would lead the discussion around to the real issue I was having, in that case selfishness.

This thread could well be about shame. If you sit in a meeting listening to general sharing, you may never hear some of the things you did. It was like that for me, as I' ve said before.

I subsequently found out, one on one with a recovered alcoholic, that everything I did was just run of the mill alcoholic stuff. Nothing special or especially bad about me.

And to those alcoholics posting here who are wondering, there is nothing you have done or thought about doing that I haven't done or thought about doing.

And it's not always spectacular stuff like bank robberies. A lot of the time what makes us unhappy is that we continually betray our own values. These things may seem trivial in the eyes of another, but are very serious for us.

Many of us have to find a way to deal with these issues if we want to overcome drinking. Burying them and never talking about them does not seem to work for some of us.

Sometimes, these things can be turned into assets rather that liabilities. They become very useful in helping others. My sponsors willingness to share with me on this level absolutely saved my life. It removed my sense of shame and apartness and showed me how my experience could help others.