I joined here because I have slipped after not drinking for over a year. I think I proven to myself I just am not able to stop once I start. It is not that I drink all the time, just cannot control it when I do.
As far as embarrassing things, I certainly have crossed lines morally where I would not do so sober. Mostly personal values stuff, where the values get tossed out when drunk. As I tend to often black out when drinking, there is probably a lot that has been said and done that I would be totally embarrassed of if I remembered. Nothing major luckily has happened, but I am sure I have shined plenty a poor light on myself as a person while behaving this way.
One thing that I struggled with initially when I started that year plus of being sober is I didn't know how I was going to face down my drunken shenanigans. It turned out that in time things kind of took care of themselves. Now that I have slipped (which is what I am seeing it as), I see how it instantly reverts back tot he old ways and this is not good.
I signed up here to give not drinking another go. I like the sober me better than who I become when drinking. By the way, I think a lot of my drinking and how I am when drunk is in many ways a defense against deep seated shame and hurt and anger over stuff from the past. I think I end up acting some of this stuff out in unhealthy ways.