Bernadette,
I sort of see it like this... He is swimming around in a big sh#@ pool, and you would have to dive in there, to do what ever it is,,, take a basket, get some sort of apology, say goodbye, get some closure, etc. you have to swim around in it too. feels bad, smells worse, and finally, a sane person will want to climb out. so, why not just go around the pool,,, its easier than climbing out and cleaning yourself off again and again. just move on down your path to happiness, avoid the pool.
That is how it feels to me, to try to talk reason to someone who is using and does not want to change, with someone who does not care about their own or mine. takes a while to get the crud off of my self, and get back to the good stuff in life.