Irritated and disappointed.
Although I'm in a pretty good place in my life right now, I don't know if I can go on in this relationship. While I was in Florida my bf became depressed and blew off work. I caught him lying about it immediately. He said even though he's not drinking he reverted to old behaviors and habits and has to pretty much start from scratch with his recovery. When i first found out I flipped my f-ing lid on the phone. I was still in Florida at the time. Then I calmed down and we spoke about it when I got home. I told him I cannot be with someone who lies to me and kind of left things open-ended. What is a relationship without intimacy and trust? Nothing. I can't even remember the last time we had sex. Now I can't trust him. What is the fricking point?
I find myself becoming increasingly angry and resentful. This is not the kind of relationship I envisioned having as a 43-year-old woman. I'm just tired of the whole thing. We're going to see his therapist together on Wednesday and I am going to lay it all out. I think this time it means the end. It's just so depressing. I know I'll be okay, but it is so disheartening. I have a lot going for me right now and this is really the only thing bringing me down. I don't even know how we can possibly work it out. I do want to wait until we're at the therapist's office so I don't flip out and say things I don't mean. Maybe that's cowardly of me, but so be it.
Thanks for listening.