Maybe I'm missing something here. I am co dependent as well. Have been in all of my relationships with men. That needs fixing yes, but our codependency has little to do with the fact that the person that was suppose to love you had a disease that caused him to abuse you, mistreat you, neglect you..whatever. You can't truly hurt another person that lives a lie and in denial and whose brain chemistry is so fermented, a clear rational thought is far and few between.
I'm sorry but our codenpendency issues may have made us a bit of a doormat, but there is no justification for the abuse we endured to "see the light". Struggles do help us recognize where we need work, but NOT that. No one deserves what we endured. Regardless of our dysfunctions.
His questioning you and wanting to know why you "lie" is more manipulation so that he can feel less guilty about who he is or was.
And that's all. It wasn't a message. It was his disease reaching for more justification. That is all
I'm sorry if this came out rude. I respect your journey and think it is wonderful you are working toward a better you.