Hi Minionmum,
I want to give you some kudos for coming here to fix the problem now. Welcome!
Maybe this will help...
Ask yourself... if one of your three little ones should happen to have an emergency (fall down the stairs, start choking, have a severe allergic reaction), do you think you could be there for them after your binge drinking? If the answer is no, then you are putting your kids' lives in danger by continuing to drink.
I say this from experience (fortunately not mine - unfortunately that of someone very close to me). Because of this experience, I always feel nervous whenever I hear of parents who are blackout drinking with their kids in the house. Not only because of what their kids are seeing their parents do, or because their parents can't be there for them on an emotional level... but because of that one "it could never happen to me!" moment that one day happens to you. You need to be awake, alert, and sober for if and when that moment happens.
Maybe you can think about that the next time you think about picking up?