Need rehab
Ive come to the realization that I cant do this on my own, and seeing a doctor today and contacted a alcoholism unit, I'll be dead if they dont send me somewhere and feel I need to be in a place where I cant touch alcohol.
Been on it over a week and drinking to function but then blacking out, had a job interview yesterday, felt I needed a drink to get there, once I started in a pub that serves at 9am and I couldnt stop and missed the interview for the job that I would have had a good chance of getting all because of alcohol.
Feel terrible today but its the wake up call Ive needed for a while and there are no doubts anymore that sadly im a chronic alcoholic and I can never drink alcohol.
Managed three and a half months over xmas and thought Id beaten it but its true what they say in AA about it being a progressive illness, its got REALLY bad and I need some sort of intervention.