Easter Ultimatum
So - Originally my husband held off his pass to leave for his 8 hour pass for Easter. The director of the program said that he would be able to go on pass (infront of me) on Easter. However, there are some other staff members that don't feel that he should be approved for a pass on a holiday. That ... people have.. but few and far in between. So, NOW - he's saying (as of last night) that if they don't approve his pass for Easter to be with his kids he's leaving the program. Yes, emotional.. irrational... yes, I told him.
His rationale for this is that he will not be able to trust the staff members because he had saved this pass exclusively for Easter. It's an 8 hour pass!!
I'm just hoping the pass gets approved and he stays as long as he can in this program. He has made it past the 90 day mark and feels on top of the world at this point. Saying things are DIFFERENT this time. (have I heard that 10 times before??) YES!!!
My response was simple. I want you to stay. I don't feel that it's fair to base your recovery on 1 pass and that I want him to stick it out no matter what the outcome is. But, he has his mind made up. Stubborn.
So, I am planning on letting him come home. 1.)Keeping my boundaries like, not paying for a new car for him, or lending him mine. 2.) Drug use is not tolerable and he will have to leave upon any suspicion. 3.) He's not legally allowed to use "our" address. Meaning he has no legal reason to be there.
Mind you all - There has never been physical abuse - However, financial abuse is still abuse and no one deserves any abuse at all.
I still find it hard to trust him... and probably will for a very long time. I just hope this pass goes smoothly. It would be nice having him home to help me... however - the goal is for him not to DIE from this disease. I just don't want him to die... or lose him to addiction by having to make him leave... again.