Originally Posted by dollpart

Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Then: I remember the first time I quit drinking for 24 hours. It was incredibly difficult. I was so proud of myself, I kept drinking for another 10 years. I swore off drinking several times a week, but when I really, really tried to quit it was hard to stay stopped for more than a couple of days.

Now: I've been happily sober for 4 years. The smell of alcohol is awful. The thought of alcohol is awful. No desire to drink--when I use hand sanitizer at the gym, the smell of the alcohol makes me gag. No desire to drink again, ever.

Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
Then: It used to irritate me terribly. I decided to solve the problem by lying to people to their face. "Yes, I quit drinking." (For this current hour.) Or I just stopped being around people when I drank so I wouldn't have to hear about it.

Now: I think people who didn't know me several years ago would be shocked to hear I used to have a serious drinking problem. Now people say things like, "Oh, that's right, you don't care for alcohol." as if I'd been a lifelong teetotaler. (Which makes me laugh a lot...)

Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?

Then: Yes. I was a drink vodka straight from the bottle kind of girl. I went through a phase when I thought wine wouldn't be so problematic and then beer and then when I realized the problem was alcohol, I said ** it and switched back to vodka until I finally quit.

Now: I've never gotten drunk off mineral water, coffee, or tea. So far so good!


Have you had to have a drink in the morning during the past year?

Then: Yes, I drank in the morning for years. I was often drunk before 7 am and was usually tipsy when I went in to work. Weekends were often an all day affair.

Now: Yes. I need my cup of tea or coffee! haha

Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
Then: Yes, but then I discovered the secret of drinking alone in my room and while I stayed out of trouble, it went downhill fast.

Now: I don't envy people who drink, period. It seems like a waste of good brain cells, calories, and time. I love being sober and aware and in touch with who I really am. That was one of the biggest surprises. (Took a lot of step work, therapy, time, and patience, but I'm pretty much at peace with myself now.)

Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
Then: I had lots of problems connected with drinking, but didn't make the connection for a long time. I thought drinking was solving my problems, or providing an escape, but not creating them.

Now: I still have problems, but they're pretty minor and I deal with life much, much better now. And people even come to me for advice or help with dealing with their problems--something that never happened when I was a technocolor train wreck!

Do you ever try to get 'extra' drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Then: Yes, or I'd drink more after the party, or I'd just skip the party entirely so I could stay home and drink properly.

Now: I make sure to have as many n/a drinks as I like. Parties are much more enjoyable when I'm not making an ** out of myself!

Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Then: At first, I used to say it and then I realized I couldn't. I really felt hopeless and was pretty sure I was going to die a drunk.

Now: I have stopped! Now it's just maintenance, which is much, much easier than early sobriety.

Have you missed days off work because of drinking?
Then: Yes. Many. Never got fired since people believed I was "sick" but I should have been.

Now: I'm barely even sick any more and when I do get sick I recovery pretty quickly. Had no idea I was so healthy!

Do you have blackouts?

Then: Yes. Regularly. By the end, the blackouts would last for 2-3 days. Scary. I would come out of them an absolute lunatic and it was around that time a few friends confessed that they were truly afraid I was going to be dead soon if I didn't stop.

Now: Only when I put my head to the pillow and go to sleep!

Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Then: I thought my life would be better if I could drink and get away with it. It took a while before I was ready to quit altogether.

Now: It is better than I can possibly express in words. I have my soul back. I'm not the slave of a vicious addiction. I am grateful every day for my sobriety. It's the foundation of my life.

What's your score?
Then: A hopeless drunk.
Now: A grateful recovered alcoholic who truly hopes that everyone will let go of their fears and pursue sobriety at all costs, no matter what. It truly does get much, much better.

I am scared to tot up...