WTBH, no words or advice... Experience: I was told that waiting for only 5 min. before declaring AXH a no-show was unreasonable (he lived just down the road). My lawyer suggested I wait about 20 min. before taking off; longer if the weather was bad... I didn't and still don't understand it, because there are repercussions to being late for other duties (as you noted with your job; late fees if you pay bills late; late for an interview - no more interview; late picking up your child from daycare and you get extra fees for each 5 min. increment...), but AXH got to be routinely late to pick up DS without any repercussions.
((((((((hugs)))))))) I'm so sorry his f-ing around cost you your job. Hoping another door opens soon.