wanttobehealthy

Second time I am posting this reply-- the first one didn't appear I guess...

I get being defensive about your family. Completely. I was/am the same...

As a mom we want to keep our kids safe, and as a spouse we want to believe the effort we put into salvaging our marriage will pay out in the end... And having others question what we are doing as a parent, and spouse is hard to hear. I get it and I understand getting defensive and don't blame you.

Just know that not everyone's approach to being supportive looks or sounds the same (I personally found it useful that there were different perspectives and thought it was valuable but maybe that's changed).

Something that was said to me when I took umbrage with some things ssaid to me that I did not like was "Take what you want and leave the rest".

That used to be expressed a lot here by someone (can't remember who the poster was-- sorry!) and it was helpful for me to remember that when I didn't like the way something was said...

I do know that ultimately it was the combination of voices and experiences and ways of saying things that were most helpful to me and I hope that you'll continue to come here and find support from everyone who is willing to give it even if it comes in a variety of ways...

Even if in the moment it isn't how or what you want to hear, trust that we all care and are concerned and that everyone here has been through the wringer and maybe the emotion you hear in posts is just that some of us want to help those who are newer here possibly avoid going down the same path we did...

Take care.