Today is a difficult day
Although I'm only awake I know today is going to be difficult. I keep thinking about everything he told me the months and weeks before he left and I don't know what was real and what was a lie! I don't know if he has been planning this it has all happened so suddenly. He's sorted a mortgage bought his own place all within 4 weeks. I feel that the years of paying off our debt so we could buy a new place has been so he could get a mortgage. Is that why he wouldn't spend money to go out or away and is that why he became so stressed when the debt wasn't paid off quick enough because it put back his date to leave? I don't know anything anymore I want to believe he loves me but does he really?
I feel lost did I really spend all those years with some who is capable of that level of manipulation and pretending? I want to ask him but will he be honest and admit anything?