confused---I understand that you are in the greatest of pain. I am soo sorry for the extent of your suffering. Most of us have suffered that much, also.
This is the way it looks to me: Your husband is clearly, at this time, losing the war in his head with the disease of alcoholism. The alcohol has control--meaning that he will do what he has to do to protect his drinking. The drink is the first priority over all else--everyone and anything. His distorted reality from the disease does not look like your reality. You are in his way---anyone who gets in the way of drinking is viewed, through the twisted alcoholic haze, as the enemy.
He, of course, is fighting a losing battle. Alcoholism always "wins" unless stopped by sobriety--complete sobriety. You are also fighting against the alcoholism--your husband isn't fully present--the alcoholism is. You are both suffering in your own way from the same enemy. Most likely, he doesn't want to hurt you. He is just doing what alcoholics do--they drink. He IS hurting you though---terribly. My heart goes out to you.
You can save yourself, though. Maybe, he will save himself--if he ever wants to do it for himself.
There is a road out of this dark forest of despair for you---please hang on and keep posting here--those who have walked in your shoes will reach out and help you find it. You definitely are not alone.
very, very sincerely,
dandylion