Breaking Point!!
My family has been dealing with my husbands cycle of addiction for years now. He's hocked our things,lied, schemed, terrorized, ruined family vacations and holidays. He's disappeared for days, leaving the family in a state of panic just to show back up and blame others. We are constantly worried. A part of me thinks he likes the attention.
We finally hit a breaking point 3 weeks ago and he decided rather than admit he had hocked our computer and camera for crack, he would leave. He later admitted to hocking our items for crack but blamed it on me and the kids and the stress that comes along with being a family. I just walked away in tears.
Last week he decided we needed to talk, he's been going to counseling and still wants to stay separated because he can't work on himself with he distractions of the kids and me; he needs to focus on him solely. He hasn't made a single effort to spend time with the kids or even call them.
Yesterday, I picked up a few grocery items and wanted to take them to his mothers house, where he's been staying. I canned and texted and realized that his phone was turned off and this is NEVER a good sign because when he's using he doesn't want to be bothered. He finally sent me a text saying that he'd gone to work left his charger at home (his moms). I asked him about his day and where he was and he wouldn't and didn't answer. The his boss called my phone and left a message looking for him. I was so angry at him! I said some mean things: I may have told him to man up and to stop acting like a baby. Everything has been about him! To hell with the kids and me, we are left to deal with this on our own.
At what point do we stop making excuses for them? And he acts like I have no right to be angry; I'm an addict I can't help it. I'm so tired of hearing that. I can't cop out of life whenever I feel like I want an escape, I have little ones depending on me. How is it ok for him to just decide to check out while he "heals himself" if that is what he's even doing. He's so good at lying I can't even tell anymore. I am sooooooo angry!!!!