Bpd is a diagnosis that can be treated quite successfully with Dbt therapy and medication for depression, anxiety etc. I know of quite a few people who decided to help themselves and live very successful, fulfilling lives. Treatment by professionals is necessary and she must be willing to change her destructive behaviors and ways of thinking. She is not doomed to emotional caretaking the rest of her life. She needs help of which you cannot give her but she is certainly not a lost cause by any stretch of the imagination. Unless she chooses not to get well. Just like addiction. Peace and strength.