I know this is HIS choice...but his choice doesn't just affect him. It affect 6 other people!!! Me, my 2 kids, and his 3 kids. His kids adore me as I adore them and my kids adore him! So why is it the addict or alcoholic has a choice in all matters that affect everyone? Everything is ALWAYS about them! Yes he is getting help. Ive told him countless times that I am proud so much of him. I've told him that I've forgiven him for the things he has done to us. I've stuck by his side. When we got married, I said through thick and thin and in sickness and in health. He said it too. How can that not mean ANYTHING? He started feeling this way just over a week after he had been there. What have they been telling him to make him even begin to think this? My husband has ALWAYS been loving and supportive and saying that we can make it through anything as long as we have each other...how could that change in a week unless they are filling his head with these ideas???? The day before he went in I posted something sweet on his facebook about as long as we have each other we can hold hands forever or something like that and he wrote back that he loved me beyond words and that he wanted to be the one holding my hand for the rest of our lives. I can't comprehend how that changed. Our love should be the ONE constant in his changing world. I can be alone. There is nothing wrong with that. I don't want to be. I want my best friend. I want my lover. I want my soulmate. I want my husband.
Yes I am insecure. I am insecure about the fact 3 almost 4 weeks ago my husband adored me as I did him and now he questions our marriage and our love. I'm completely lost. I can't change his mind if he wants a divorce. I can hang onto the hope that he realizes that this is a bad idea. I support him and I love him. With my love and support, support from his sponsor and his group, he has a better chance than if he just goes it alone with meetings and sponsor. He has intimacy and love and concern here at home...kids that adore him...