Originally Posted by
Dee74 
Hi Rogue
I know it sometimes seems insurmountable - how do you get sober and yet remain you...how can you keep your life as it is, and not drink...
The answer is I don't think you can. And I'm willing to bet, behind that screaming terror of change most of us have, there's a sizeable part of you that wants more from life than what you have now.
Putting the bottle down is the first step to getting to where you want to be. It;s not easy, and having other addictions, and alcohol related jobs doesn't make it easier...but you will find a ton of support here.
You can have the life you want - whatever that is - if you're prepared to take a bit of a leap of faith and trust that things will be better sober...
They will
D
Thank you, Dee. Btw, I love your avatar!!! Gotta love the Muppets.
Funny thing is, I like me sober. I liked those two years I had. In fact, I loved them! I miss them soooo much.
I feel stuck. I know this is normal, I know this is a good feeling really, because if I didn't feel stuck then I wouldn't be advancing towards the choice of sobriety. Right?
It's soooo true. I want so much more from life than what I have now! I want "all the things"!!!! (to quote that internet meme, lol) I want to run with the bulls in Spain, dang it! I want to fly like an eagle, doing the things I love to do that I cannot do now, thanks to alcohol and the EDs!
I'm so very familiar with recovery that it feels like an old horse. I know the process. I know the pain. But I also know the feeling at the end of the tunnel, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And I crave it like a fat kid craves cake, for lack of a better example.
It's just that dang STUCK feeling. "I can't". I can't move out, I'm stuck in a lease with a guy that gets mad if I refuse a drink. He's only sweet if I drink with him. I've asked if he would support me through AA, he's hesitantly said yes, but has also said he won't quit drinking himself. I've tried to break up with him three times this year, all three times ending in horrible stalemates.
Anyway, just venting. I feel so needy! Ack! Thank you sooooo much for all your attention and courtesy on all these threads, Dee! Truly grateful.
