Why is it non-drinkers get harassed for not drinking in the first place? Imagine your scenario like this: you're in the restaurant and you order water to drink. Your husband says, "Oh, I was hoping you'd order a Coke because I wanted Dr. Pepper." Sounds absurd, right? It's absurd because alcoholic beverages aren't really "beverages" at all. They're drug-delivery devices. Just like with any drug, people feel more comfortable (justified) using/abusing them if those around them are using/abusing them, too. I can't help but get perturbed when I hear stories like yours because I've been there. My current significant other, even though my drinking once caused us to split up for 9 months, has still commented that maybe I could drink NA beer, or maybe I could learn to moderate. Why is it so damned important to be able to drink poison (or even pretend to)?! I know it may come off as being defensive if you responded that way, if you ever find yourself in the same position again, but maybe it would get the point across?