9111111

I’m just coming from reading another thread where it discusses the long term effects of alcoholism and family dysfunction on adult children of alcoholics.
It’s heart breaking.

Sometimes I read or hear spouses of alcoholics talk about their children, what a great partner the alcoholic is when he isn’t drunk and that the children are too young to understand what’s going on.
I’m neither an ACOA nor do I have children, but I’ve had an alcoholic in my life.
Experience and wise people taught me that the great person and the drunk destructive person are the same person, and that a lot of the collateral damage f&f suffer only becomes visible after there’s a break from all the drama.

My question is – how do I respond to the parents who believe their children are not affected in any way?
(I know that not everyone is affected equally and I've also come accross lots of great parents who go above and beyond to provide a healthy upbringing for their children - these are NOT the ones I'm trying to discuss here)

I know everybody takes their own time to wake up and open their eyes to the drama that surrounds them and I am very aware how painful this is.
At the same time I also believe that the young years of childhood are very formative years and need protection.

I can only imagine how hard being a good parent is these days, especially when living in a family with alcoholism.
I want to be supportive and respectful to the spouses and parents I encounter, but - acknowledging that they are the only ones that can proetct their children from the insanity - not feed into their denial.

Any advice?