You have to listen to your head and not your heart, your heart holds all the lies.
He is who he is, your heart does not want to believe it.
Are you in counseling or going to al anon.
You have to make a commitment to your own healing, you have to shut doors you feel uncomfortable shutting, you need to build up your self worth again
Sweetie , we have all done this back and forth recycling, thinking, oh they get it, it will be different, it won't , he is in active addiction.
Only you hold the key to your own happiness.