All - I think we might be a little hard on Serenity's husband. I agree this is no joking matter, and I even agree that although we own our sobriety, we can take all the support we can from our families'. That said, we assume that they know or can even empathize with how grave the situation is in our minds. Not a perfect parallel, but I'm a pretty strong bike rider. Riding straight uphill with no hands against traffic gives me no angst at all - I'm quite confident with my ability to assess the road, the cars, etc. Not saying I'm Olympic or tour de France worthy, but I'm just comfortable on the road. My wife on the other hand, has the fear of god about her when cars are on the road with her. It's near paralyzing. I joke about it, I get frustrated, I get angry - because it makes no sense to me. She's just being a baby, right? I think everybody gets my point. To Nordics - stopping at one or two both physically and mentally is no different than putting on their shoes. For us - it's like standing on a cliff, with complete despair and a one way ticket to heaven/hell.
Could it be that he is trying to joke with you, so it isn't so awkward? Again, not saying that is right - but his intentions might be. I'm going on year 3, and my wife supports me and drinks around me - we can joke about it, and at the same time, she'll grab my hand and hold it if I reach for the bottle. This is a journey - give him time to get on the bus with you.