Kindeyes

Hon....this process is just that.....a process. It doesn't happen over night and there's no "yanking the bandaid off" that's going to make it any easier. We all do it in our own time. The people who you have reached out to are extending their hands....experienced hands. Why? Because we've been there and we do care....or believe me.....we wouldn't be here. We've lived a hell like you are experiencing and survived. You can too.

I also got to the point where I was broken into little pieces....but that's what it took for me to build a new foundation......from the ground up. I couldn't build on the broken foundation.....I had to tear it all up and start all over and I didn't get to that point until I was in my 40s and it took about 8 years for me to really rebuild myself.....and feel really good (but remember.....I'm a very slow learner.....lol....). It was worth it. I was worth it. And so are you.

Now.....let's take the focus off of him....what are you doing for yourself? Personally, the last freaking thing I knew how to do was to do nice things for me. I had completely lost touch with myself because I had gotten so wrapped up in the chaos, lies, circular arguments, emotional/psychological abuse and all of the other garbage that goes on around addiction. What makes you feel good? What brings you enjoyment? If you can't answer those questions....that's ok...I couldn't either. But at least I started looking for those healthy things that could bring me a measure of comfort. Reading. Music. Exercise (I needed to rid myself of some horrible internal energy and exercise was a great way for me to do it). Yoga. Meditation. Walks on the beach (I'm lucky to live near some beautiful Pacific Northwest Beaches). Whatever little bit of good stuff you can bring into your life.......it's a start......baby steps.

Please.....take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke