You've got kids. Put them at the center of your world right now. When you start getting upset/sad/angry/etc at him, just take a breath and look at your kids. Or a picture of them. Because, as a mom myself, what MAN can EVER compare to your children?? If he is worthless, kick him out & protect your kids. You are their role model. Do you want them to end up as miserable as you are when they end up with someone that takes advantage of all of their fantastic qualities? Cause the thing is, you married him, there is a part of you that does still love him-that doesn't have to go away. Let him get cleaned up & his head sorted out & if he can do that, great, you can bring that love back out & let it shine. But if he can't, you will make yourself miserable as well as show your kids that you don't feel like you are good enough to put yourself first, and that they aren't worth being put first either. I guarantee, they think you are & that you deserve better. And they NEED to know that their mom is there for them. And right now, if you let HIS problems control your life, they are going to see that. Do not let that become a norm for them. A lady in Alanon talked about her childhood with her alcoholic father, and she has been married to an alcoholic for decades. It made me feel sooo SAD for her. If her mom could have walked away & put the kids first, maybe she would have been able to find a happier path in life. But she married what she knew.
Just think of the kids. They will help you put those tiny pieces back together if you let them.