Thank you for all of your responses. I really appreciate an outsider giving me advice. I have decided to forgive my husband but not forget and I am definitely having a difficult time dealing with the amount of pain this has caused me. I do not want to defend him but the reasons I have decided to forgive is that I truly believe that 1) he does not remember 2) he told me quickly, he could have easily not told me since it was in a different city and he didn't even know her name 3) His initiative to set up counseling. He doesn't drink every day, in fact probably only every other week, and usually at home when he is trying to fall asleep (a problem here also). There have been times where I have woken up because he is giving foreplay only to have him completely stop when I start to return the foreplay. Sorry if that is TMI. So somewhere in my head there is a slight thought that he wasn't actually able to perform. I apologize for my unorganized rambling. Just hurt.