When my Abf "caught" me on here he asked what it was so I told him. I sometimes wish he didn't know but I guess I should have been smart enough not to get caught then. He and I have some trust issues. He's lied quite a bit in the past. I try to set an example and be as honest with him as I can. After all, I expect that from him so I guess it's only fair. Like you said in your post, I'd sure be suspicious if I came in and found him scrambling to close windows before I could see. I'd ask, and I'd expect him to tell the truth. If your wife doesn't ask then maybe it's not that important to her, maybe she trusts you enough to know it's innocent so I wouldn't volunteer the info. If she does ask, if it was me I'd tell the truth.
Telling of course invites them to read what you've written. I decided not to censor anything I write either. If abf disagrees with something he can talk to me about it. He also has the ability to decide not to read things if he doesn't want to know. He's knows this is all anonnomous(bad spelling) so he seems okay with it. He'd prefer that to my talking to family and friends around town about it.