Going to agree with Sugarbear here
My instant and intuitive response to reading your post was that's untreated alcoholism, particularly the ISM bit. I say that because that self-consciousness relents for me when I'm making use of the principles of the program, and gets correspondingly worse when I don't.
Am also an advocate of therapy so it's not to say this can't resolve what you describe. My experience however is that the route therapy offers to exploring I/Self/Me is usually more sophisticated and for me has been more usefully applied when I'm spiritually on an even(ish
) keel.
And far from being silly, it's a great insight, and am glad you shared it
Wish you well