For me, such experiences were a mixed bag of anxieties, projections, self-esteem issues, self-centeredness and.... wait for it.... JUSTIFIED FEARS run amok.
Therapy made all the difference. As well, re-learning how to see myself as successfully living without drinking as my go-to relief from what ailed me also went a long way to help me get past all the above issues.
When we attempt to face ourselves while distracted with internal stresses, we can often see our external behaviors also come under stress. This happening is a red flag moment. Things will only get worse if we allow ourselves to just same old same old. For me, taking action is always best to remedy such stresses. Good to hear your interested in a return to therapy. You know, since your aware enough to realise what is going on, i'm sure therapy will help you discover the direct causes of your present extremes and associated troubles with being overly self-conscience.