Thanks for all the kind words and support (especially SoberLeigh - that's a lot of good advice) and also thanks to those who gave me a little "tough love"! I agree that I do drink due to "outside forces" like "Sunrise" talked about. I have a weakness there. Also, I agree with "least" who asked how drinking will help the situation with my father's illness. It will just make matters worse, I know that. I'm not very logical in that regard.
I see a therapist and we've talked about the fact that I relapse due to stressful events. I've learned to meditate and appreciate mindfulness and things like that. It does help a lot of the time. I'm still learning to cope with life's ups and downs I guess. Thanks again for all the advice and support. You've all given me something to think about. Robin