Originally Posted by
vanessacherie84 
Based on the research that I am doing on how to support an addict, it all says to keep things as normal as possible, however do draw your perimeters. Every site I've read strongly emphasizes that compassion and building their trust is KEY. That the more stressful the "supporter" makes the situation, the more likely the addict will be to use more frequently and aggressively.
Has anyone been able to find a good firm and supportive balance? I'm just asking because I'm worried that any sudden reaction like isolating him when I have her will lead to him using more. And I am worried about him using while he has her on his days as well.
I think the key is in finding balance... and I actually do agree with the things you have been reading about how to support your loved one. From my experience, there are various stages of addiction. But one thing that happens quite often is the drug use becomes a coping mechanism. So when there is an emotional issue, they cant cope and will turn to the drug to create a manufactured feeling, or an escape. So conflict like our nagging, yelling, blaming triggers that response. Of course on a high level they are responsible for their emotions no matter what comes their way.. as we all are... but often there is something broken in that area at least during active addiction.
My husband was a "functional addict". He became addicted after an injury, multiple surgeries, rehabilitation, and lots of prescribed pain meds. He had a pretty solid foundation in life before this happened. With proper treatment he has done well so far.. 2 years next month. I would keep doing as you are and put your daughter first, support him at whatever level is comfortable for you & this may mean some trial and error, and that's ok. Im going to send you a p.m. with some additional resources Ive found helpful on my journey.
Prayers for you, and your family going up tonight.