Hi HSSH, option 3 just isn't an option at all because he's in deep denial. The bit about you abusing him, is a symptom. It might be better if he's not fighting the process given his history of physical abuse.
I've been divorced and it is a time for the death of dreams. I was a bit ashamed too. I had a boss who kept saying, 'we're old fashioned, we've been married for XXX years' and it used to really annoy me, like divorce was a fashion. You have to get past that kind of attitude, because you are doing the healthy thing and you need to remember that.