Why isn't there an option C where he gets sober and we can have the family we once talked about?
There is but HE doesnt "want" to...
If you go back and read what you wrote, you will read a lot about you "want" him to change to make you happy and save you from a percieved social embarrasment. I think accepting a life and being the wife of someone who chooses to abandon you and physically abuse you and all the rest of the horrible things living in an alcoholic abusive relationship would be equally socially humiliating! Sorry I know that sounds harsh. But nothing changes if nothing changes! And you can only change you! Doing yhe same thing over and over expecting a different result is the definition of insanity! You deserve to be happy in life so please dont beat yourself up! Changing your life for the better is way more "prestigious" than rolling over and hiding behind a curtain of percieved shame! You can do it! Divorce the SOB! Because btw...its the only thing you can do!