I know, HSSH, sometimes it can be so overwhelmingly sad.
I'm two steps ahead of you in the process of ending my marriage. It's been so gut wrenchingly hard to let go of my hopes for my AH's recovery, but the pride I feel in myself for finally moving forward has made it a bit easier. You're doing something profoundly difficult. Those of us here know that. I hope you can feel the love and support being sent your way.