So I took the advice and read about quaking and detachment. My AH absolutely is manipulative and quacks like the largest duck on earth! I truly do not believe he has any intentions of living a sober lifestyle which makes me deeply sad for our newborn son, but I guess that's his choice. Tonight he demanded that he will take out son next weekend and spend time with him; however, I do not trust him alone with him. I don't have temporary custody yet and it terrifies me of what he may do. I feel like if I am just not home next weekend that I will be accused of "controlling" the situation. In reality I really don't give a s#** what he thinks because my baby will be safe. In reality, I'm very scared my son will learn my AHs horrible coping skills and personality traits. Honestly, I would prefer to keep my son as far away from AH as long as he continues to exhibit his NPD symptoms. I work in mental health and my AH likes to use that against me. I used to become offensive of his transference but now just smile and think 'wow I hit that one in the head' this time.
. I know what I tell people at my job... It's just completely different when it's you and your emotionally involved. I guess I need to stop being so quick tempered and just learn to smile and not say anything in the heat of the moment. As far as my company, I am going to follow through and fire him. Tonight he was complaining about his phone not being paid, and It felt good to redirect his blame shifting by reminding him that he chose not to pay his bill with the recent sum of $ he took from the company. (He took enough to pay his phone for a year!) so in the end- I know I'm not crazy (like he would like to say I am and make me believe I am). I am however exhausted and emotionally depleted from this 4 year roller coaster ride with him. He will likely become homeless which is a consequence of his choices. So I plan on taking it one day at a time. I'm strong and if I can live with him and all of his drama, then I know I can live without him with little drama!