spiderqueen

Hi Time, and Welcome.

I recommend reading up on detachment (there are many threads here), and also "quacking", which is the crap that active alcoholics spew around to deflect and deny their behavior.

Although I was mortified, because I though my A was different, or special, reading those threads helped me realize that my struggles and unhealthy dynamic was very similar to others. I learned I was being manipulated, I learned that my A was protecting his addiction at ALL COSTS, and I learned that I did NOT have to play along or buy into any of it.

Sorry you are dealing with this, but you have come to the right place. We all understand your heartache, and disappointment.