Originally Posted by
HSSH 
When an A is a dry drunk and they go on a tear and destroy their life - what are they thinking about? In reading up about alcoholism, the focus is on the concept of craving the drug/alcohol over everything else. But when someone is a dry drunk, what's going on in their head?
How long do benders last for a dry drunk?
Can go years.
As far as I can tell *we* only have to put up with it as long as we put up with it.
I see you have a very recent "join" date.
Here is some background info towards your question >>>
What Is A Dry Drunk? | Addiction Recovery Basics
and to get some real understanding, it is hard to do better than the AA Big Book.
Free On Line . . . .
Big Book On Line - Table of Contents
By the time you to Chapter 5, "How it Works," you will likely be getting some real understanding.
Sorry if this has been asked -- You doing Alanon . . . FOR YOU?