Welcome, jaybe. I agree with everyone above. It is not so much discipline that you need but acceptance that alcohol is controlling you. When I realized that alcohol controlled me (I couldn't stop thinking about when my next drink would be, I avoided social occasions where there would not be alcohol available, I drank even when I didn't want to, etc) then I was able to surrender and say, "you are stronger than I am and I am not engaging with you anymore." But I was not defeated. This was the beginning of my recovery.