Notices

need self discipline

Old 03-11-2014, 09:49 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 14
need self discipline

i need some pointers on how to develop self discipline so i can quit boozing.I can't seem to not give into my urges to drink and its hurting my wallet .I can stop for a day or two at a time .But i just start up again even when i tell myself im going to stop i just can't stick with it .
jaybe83 is offline  
Old 03-11-2014, 10:09 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,058
Hi jaybe - welcome

for me it wasn't about self discipline. Part of the problem was I really wanted to alter my reality.

I had no discipline at all when it came to alcohol (or drugs for that matter)

When I think about things I did to get wasted there's no logic to it, so trying to apply logic - 'I need more self discipline' - is kind of futile.

I think some things do help - support does...so I'm glad you've joined us.
I think acceptance helps too - I had to accept that drinking made me into someone I didn't want to be....and it always would.

If I wanted to be who I wanted to be, I had to become, and stay, a non drinker.

I had to make some changes to my life. I think that's crucial too. My life and friendships were about drinking. That needed to change.

There are some real benefits to living sober. I like who I am. My life has purpose. My relationships are good. I'm in reasonable health. I'm happy and I know joy again.

Give it a chance Jaybe

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 03-11-2014, 10:13 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Sobriety is Traditional
 
Coldfusion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,034
Here is a "pointer" for you: read and post on this website. I have found it helpful to stay sober when I share my experience, strength and hope here. It is helpful because time here is a positive activity that reinforces the reasons I stay sober.
Coldfusion is offline  
Old 03-11-2014, 11:09 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
advbike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,547
I found it helped to make an inventory of the issues that arose from drinking, especially my health-related concerns. Mostly I wanted to have the remaing years of my life have meaning. This site really helped me get throughthe first 30 days which are the hardest.
advbike is offline  
Old 03-12-2014, 02:52 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome to Sober Recovery jaybe!

Do you feel like you have self-discipline in other areas of your life, just not around booze? Or do you feel like you are lacking self-discipline in all areas of your life?

If it is just booze, then it might help to explore WHY that might be. If you react differently to alcohol than to other things it can be helpful to understand that.
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 03-12-2014, 03:02 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Kaleidoscope eyes
 
KateL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Welcome Jaybe. you've come to the right place xxxxx
KateL is offline  
Old 03-12-2014, 09:25 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 14
for its like i can't control myself .i let my emotions get a hold of me .ill be hungover the next day and ill be feeling all kinds of crap.Ill tell myself when the day begins im not going to drink today.i can go the whole day without a drink,my drinking time usually starts .During the day i get the anxiety ill just be thinking about not drinking soo much that ill wind up doing it.Or ill think about the money i waste on buying boozes and ill think about not spending so much ill wind up spending.I know i need to be harder on myself in my life if i want to change .i know i need discipline for that to happen.
jaybe83 is offline  
Old 03-12-2014, 09:28 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,058
Try posting here before you give into that drinking urge Jaybe - it can really help

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 03-13-2014, 06:07 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by jaybe83 View Post
I know i need to be harder on myself in my life if i want to change .i know i need discipline for that to happen.
I used to believe that would fix my drinking problem. I used to drive to work (hungover) berating myself for being so weak and undisciplined; sure that if I quit being a baby and 'man up' I would get my drinking problem under control.

Turns out it wasn't true. What I really needed was to understand why alcohol had a hold over me in a way that nothing else did. Once I understood that I knew how to make it stop.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 03-13-2014, 06:16 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
toddle118's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: london
Posts: 623
We have all been there, its true, you need to look at what triggers you to drink, what reasons you are drinking. Is it stress? Boredom? Lonliness?

I can guarantee you those will hit you in the face tenfold if you continue to look for answers in a bottle. Sorry if that sounds patronising. Posting on here and reading posts really does help, it helped me a lot. I would be drinking right now if not, honestly. Its a very supportive site, and we're all in the same boat trying to fight our demons.
toddle118 is offline  
Old 03-13-2014, 06:42 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Sparkos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Welshman living in Cork, Ireland
Posts: 737
Hi Jaybe. Ditto all the above advice.
I think most of us have fallen into a destructive cycle such as:
Waking up with a hangover and full of regret,
Right, this is it I won't let it happen again,
I must "man-up and be strong,
Spend all day trying to be strong,
Getting weary of trying to be strong,
Oh f*** it this is too hard I'm too weak,
Feel bad about being weak,
Have just one drink.......................... next thing
Waking up with a hangover and full of regret.
You have to break the cycle.
For me it was accepting that where substances are concerned I'm not strong, I'm weak. So i let them win.
It sounds contradictory, but once you give in you are free.
It's not a fair fight.
All right booze, you win I give up, I'm not going to fight you anymore.
You're just a beast that lives within me. I'm FAR weaker than you, but........................
I control my hand that picks up a drink, not you,
I decide whether I'm going to buy booze, not you,
I decide whether I want to be clean and sober, not you,
I decide whether i want to be happy and content, not you,
See these legs that can walk us to the pub? I control them, not you.
Now know you're place beast. You live within me, but now you're safely within yous cage.
Sparkos is offline  
Old 03-13-2014, 06:52 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
toddle118's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: london
Posts: 623
Excellent post Sparkos x
toddle118 is offline  
Old 03-13-2014, 08:39 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
GotGrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Welcome, jaybe. I agree with everyone above. It is not so much discipline that you need but acceptance that alcohol is controlling you. When I realized that alcohol controlled me (I couldn't stop thinking about when my next drink would be, I avoided social occasions where there would not be alcohol available, I drank even when I didn't want to, etc) then I was able to surrender and say, "you are stronger than I am and I am not engaging with you anymore." But I was not defeated. This was the beginning of my recovery.
GotGrace is offline  
Old 03-13-2014, 08:52 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
calichris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
I am on day 3 guys (and gals) these posts are SO helpful I thank you all so much! Last night was tough I really felt I could use a drink (or 10), but I kept telling myself that it is easier to remain sober right now than to deal with not being sober the next days and weeks. I told myself that over and over, got a bite to eat, treated myself to a movie, and the cravings subsided and before I knew it it was 10pm and I was exhausted from a very long day ready for bed and still sober thank God. Just wanted to share my experience thank you all for sharing yours!!
calichris is offline  
Old 03-13-2014, 01:23 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 14
nonsensical@-How did you go about figuring out how to understand what made you drink ?


@gotgrace - What do you mean by surrender ? like surrender to the urges and just drink ?
jaybe83 is offline  
Old 03-13-2014, 01:36 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Notmyrealname's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
If you can get two days sober you can manage that third day. If you can get three days sober, hey man, what's one more day on top of three days?

If you can get four days sober, well, that's pretty good, seems like one more day would make five, and you have four, so, just knock out that one more day.

And if you have five days sober, only twenty percent more would put you at six days. Surely you can stretch it out one more day.

And at six days, well, hell, it's like, one more day, and you have a whole week.

And if you have a whole week down, wow! you made it a whole week!

It's little hurdles, one by one, and you start picking up momentum, and good stuff starts happening. Don't try to eat the whole sandwich in one bite.
Notmyrealname is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:51 AM.