Lovenjoy,
thank you so much for sharing your experience. sorry to hear about your struggles, though. it has been like forever since I last responded on a thread, but I have been here on SR almost daily, reading as much as I can.
today marks my 3 yr anniversary of leaving the AH, pregnant and with 2 small kids. your post has prompted me to respond because it is so similar to the way I feel. I have my own business, which I'm not sure if it is a bad or a good thing, because being my own boss, I can take off or not work whenever I want to. I constantly go back and forth from having ok days, not so good days, don't want to do anything or talk to anybody days, to an occasional and rare very good day. it is like I'm stuck and paralyzed in not being able to shake off the negativity.
I know that I am way overdue for a visit to a counselor, should be going to alanon, should not be reading texts or listening to voicemails from my AH, etc, etc, but even making an effort to do this seems too much at times.
not really sure where I'm going with all this. I guess, I just wanted to let you know that I completely understand what are you dealing with. I wanted to send you hugs of support and understanding. we will get through this, as the hard part must already be over with. stay strong and take one day at a time.
hugs and hope.