It's not like a nagging feeling that something isn't right. Like a "it feels like something shady is going on and I don't know exactly what is off but something just isn't right." I don't feel like that right now. (Or as my husband would say, "I don't feel like that YET.")
It's more like things are going good and then I hit myself with a bunch of realistic but negative what-if type scenarios and then reason that I'm doing myself a favor by thinking that something, anything could go wrong at anytime so I shouldn't believe that this happy period is sustainable.
…it's kind of like going scuba diving and keeping it in the back of your mind that your gear could fail you and rather than just full on enjoying your diving experience. Rather than a nagging feeling of "I'm pretty sure that there is something wrong my gear, something doesn't feel right here." Hopefully that makes more sense.
I guess I'm just very aware of the risk/failure propensity in our marriage and I've never been so acutely aware of it before. Our relationship has always felt like a sure thing. Now everyday I wake up and think about good stuff and the risks in similar measures.