You're stronger than I am. My AW came home drunk today, after a year and a half of sobriety (at least I think so) and I blew up. It didn't last long, because I remembered, from past experience that it's like throwing snowballs at a bonfire. I finally just went into my office and left her alone. She wouldn't even admit that she'd been drinking.
So, I understand a little of what you may be feeling, and it can be a lonely place. Best of luck to you.