I'm posting on the alcoholism board because I'm still fighting this awful demon.
I did 2 months sober then slipped on Feb 9. The next day I was determined to just start over...
Never did it. I kept falling back into it. I'm right back where I started, binge drinking 3X a week, and thinking about drinking all the time.
HOW the heck do I get my motivation back? Nothing really awful happens when I drink (right now anyway, the Summer, drinking with others, brings the worst binge drinking episodes for me), right now just the usual feeling like crap the next day and such awful depression.
I drink to self-medicate. I've battled very bad depression for years (who knows, might be somewhat hormonal, but I seriously Hate the turn my life has taken also). I drink to change the way I feel at the moment. I feel trapped. I never did well with anti-depressants, and drinking brings nothing but sorrow in the long run.
Any advice on how to get back on the wagon. I know I need to treat the underlying depression but quitting the drink is the first thing and I can't seem to get there. I can never stay Quit!!