Hi
Welcome to the forum. I know that it took a lot of courage for you to come here and post your story. It took a lot from me when I started to talk to people also. I remember once I belonged to a forum, not this one, it was for verbal abuse, and I would become embarrassed that I was on the forum for over a year, and still did nothing to better my life. So I quit the forum, and I started to isolate myself, and that is the worst thing that I could have done. I had no one to talk to anymore, I felt like I had no support.
I called the DV hotline, I called it several times. Everything you say is confidential, sometimes after or during the arguments I just needed some validation, anything, your H can make you feel like you are the crazy one, the way they twist things and blame things on you.
One thing that I had to do was not to blame his behavior on the alcohol. Yes, alcohol can increase bad behavior, but it is still bad behavior. I had to realize that his problems were much more then alcoholism. In the beginning, he was drunk when he would treat me in abusive ways, but it started to also happen when he was not drinking.
The one thing that really jumped out at me in your post is that he said..... you should be happy that he stopped putting his hands on you. wth? He has no remorse whatsoever for his physical abuse, never mind the verbal abuse, and emotional abuse.
Take that house that your family is offering to you now, you need to get away from twisting things, and blaming you. I think you need a vacation from these things to that you can have time to think about what you want, and how you feel, and what you want in your life.
I really feel that at times I was somewhat brainwashed by my ex. Always constantly worrying about him, and how he feeling, walking on eggshells, trying not to set him off.
Please keep posting here. We care.
(((((((((((hugs))))))))))