that you harbored of things that you figured not drinking would fix. -Quote fini
it sounds like a woman knowing she's facing change but not quite ready yet to let go of the "old".- Quote fini
Yep fini,
As always you hit the nail on the head. Looking back I think I really thought that everything was going to be better now that I don't drink...lol. All life's issues would just fade away and be no more. Yeah right.
GT-
Man, you can spot that beast.
My copy of RR is sitting in my nightstand. May need to pull it out. Looking at it from that perspective I see that I am making a correlation that does not exist (or at least my beast is). None of these issues are truly affected by my not drinking. Except that by not drinking I am not exacerbating any of my problems. Life is soooooo much easier without a drink. The thought of going back needs to stop. As you said with my BP in place there is no choice. However, how do I shut up that nagging, "Never say never, just one wont kill you" voice? "BP's are stupid. No one decides to never do something.... why not go to a meeting?" it says.
dOg-
You also brink up a very valid point. I have been working 65-75 hours per week EVERY WEEK for months now. Not to mention it has been cold and not so inviting outside for what feels like an eternity. I am hoping to take off a few days in April (well to take my daughter to a specialist 4 hours away) but, maybe I should make that a "mini-retreat". I can only take 4 days off but still. I could use a few days to clear my head.
Anyway, it all is what it is...drunk or sober. Its just better sober. My beast is just coming to terms with the idea of "never" I guess. If nothing else at least this gave me a chance to vent. Thanks,
Jess