newdad

Hello out there. I'm 33 years old and I've let my drinking habit last to long. It started back when I was just out of High School going to a local Junior College. I would binge drink with the guys on the weekend. I let this slowly but surely turn in to a drinking habit that I know has to stop.

I finally admitted to my wife that I cannot control my drinking. It was on October 14th, 2002. I admitted to her all the pints of vodka I drank on the way home from work each day. I would down a pint of vodka in less than a half hour every evening for the last year or so. She knew a lot of the time and would confront me on it, but I would lie and deny everything. I got sick of lying, decieving, driving drunk, being tired all day, spending our money on alcohol, feeling sick in the morning, lying, feeling guilty, not performing to my full potential at work, lying, not exercising, worrying about my health, etc... I got sick of drinking. I finally admitted it to my wife, and I think it will be one of the best things that I've ever done in my life.

I went 10 days after that day without a drop. That seemed to me like a great accomplishment for me seeing how I couldn't even remember the last time I went longer than 2 days without drinking. So what do I do...I celebrate with a pint of vodka on the way home from work on a Friday - that would be Oct. 25th. My wife had no suspicions and I had a great buzz. I felt sorta low but figured I would just stop again for a week or so and maybe do it again. You know - thinking to myself "maybe I can control this".

I went another 6 days without a drop and did the "celebratory pint" on the next Friday Nov. 1st. I kept going this time, though, and secretly drank my pint a day over the two day weekend. From there I had a max of one day straight of not drinking here and there, and up to 11 days straight of the "pint" days. My wife could tell and I would lie again.

52 days after I first admitted to my wife of my problem, it was my daughters first birthday (Dec. 5). To then, I had a total of 29 non drinking days and 23 drinking days. That night I admitted to my wife that I fell off the sober path. I want this time to be for good. I owe it to my wife and daughter. I owe it to myself. I am lucky that I haven't gotten in trouble with the law (drunk driving). I am lucky I have been able to perform at work well enough to keep my job. I would never drink during work, but I got so tired at work from the drinking. Since that Dec. 5, I haven't drank, so I'm 6 days sober and will be 7 days after today. I find that exercise is the key for me to beat the bad feelings/urges. I've been walking/jogging every night and feel GREAT afterwards. I hope to get back in to shape and start running 5-Ks and 10-Ks again like I have before. My daughter has sooooo much energy and is very fast now at age 1 and it will be great to be in tip top shape so I can keep up to speed with her as the years go on.

Thanks for listening. I had to get this out.

Alex