Jess,
to me, it stands to reason that after a good while of not getting drunk and not using that ready escape/fix-all/don't-give-a-**** all the discontents that were and are simply there, come now into more focus. we see better. we notice what's not satisfactory. if you read on recovery forums (and i know you do), you can see this all over the place. people unhappy with their partners, their friends, their families, their lives. their reality.
took me a while longer than you, or maybe it just took longer before i really acknowledged how stuck i felt and was.
getting unstuck takes time, and new learning. risk.
i really do think it takes quite a while to get to know ourselves once we quit. was so for me, anyway. maybe some of it is expectations, still, that you harbored of things that you figured not drinking would fix.
and i notice that you're talking about feelings. in the posts before these, you were also talking of feelings; then, you said you felt happy. now, you feel unhappy. but basically not much has changed in the last few months in your outward reality, but your feelings about it are....and they might change again.
not trying to give a rah-rah pep talk, but no, i don't think there's anything "wrong" with you.
just a tough time knowing you need to make some decisions about the partner and the place and the direction.all tough stuff, and knowing what to do and then doing it are different things.
i find it difficult to be okay with myself in the circumstances where i feel i'm not living in accordance with what i think is of "higher value", yet, it takes a while to be willing to bear the costs.
from what you're saying, it sounds like a woman knowing she's facing change but not quite ready yet to let go of the "old".
and by the way, if 37 is old, then i'm ancient, of course.
my oldest daughter is 37. was a hell of a teenager, but we've talked about that
they get over it, Jess.
(and you didn't say you ARE old, but that you FEEL that way.)