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Old 03-02-2014, 08:13 AM
  # 410 (permalink)  
jkb
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
Wasn't sure where to post so I thought here was as good a place as any. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ???????? The last two months or so I feel very unsettled. I feel like the only thing that has changed for me is that I no longer drink. I know deep down that is not true.

I mean I got another job that I really wanted so, now I work two jobs.

I am raising a teenager which is stressful under the best of circumstances but, it seems the longer I am sober the more she acts out. Not sure if this is my imagination.

I am still stuck in this relationship due to a lease and fear of regretting leaving at 37 to start over again.

I feel old.

I still hate this stupid place I live despite knowing that I will not make the kind of money I am making here, anywhere else.

I still feel trapped.... I still feel unhappy.

Of-course the beast loves this sh*t thinking and is preying on it. I have no real thoughts of saying "f*ck it lets have a drink beast.... me and you" however, it is there. I tend to ignore it but, occasionally, especially the last few weeks, I have been entertaining it more than I used to.

I just feel so f***ing trapped and isolated. I feel like there has just got to be more.......

Jess
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