I did everything in my power to make sure things were calm and not to crazy so he wouldn't want to drink more.
You can't control whether he is going to drink or not. I was the same way, trying to make sure everything was perfect so he wouldn't have a "reason" to drink. Of course he drank anyway, because he is an alcoholic, not because I burned dinner or the kids were fighting over the TV or the dog barked at him or the car broke down or it was a full moon (yes, really) or any of the other cockamamie excuses he made for drinking.
We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and we can't control it.
I second other's advice about Celebrate Recovery or Alanon for you. It really will help you to understand the nature of the disease of alcoholism.
I'm sorry for what brought you here, but you're welcome and I'm glad you're reaching out for support.