Hi there Carmen, big hugs to you, it's so hard to make the changes.
There is really no right or wrong. You did your best to express your feelings, remind yourself that you said it clearly, no need to revisit it again. Done. Keep taking those baby steps, they add up. Yep, you love him, yep you miss him, yep it's very sad and you hate hurting and you hate the thought of him hurting. OK now what? Your choice. Either way YOU NEED TO KEEP WORKING ON YOU. Take a step back and look at the whole situation from the outside when it gets hard and you feel stuck. Imagine, if you will, that you see a man slapping a women in the face then hugging her over and over and over. The woman doesn't do anything to get out of his way, she just stands there as if she's rooted to the spot. What would you do to help THAT WOMAN. Now I want you to think about that and what YOU can do for YOU.