InTheEnd,
You did great! I am so sorry that you have to deal with that disappointment, and your daguther does, but you handled it very well, and so did she.
This has nothing to do with drinking, but your situation. My husband's younger sisters did not have any money for college, but managed to use community colleges for 2 years, then transfer to better state schools(in their state the state schools are very good) for their last 2 years. So, they were able to plan and save to go away for the last two years, at least.
I hope you find a way, and your sobriety will only make you more present and focused for all of the challenges in life.