I'm glad you found this site. I'm sorry you're dealing with this addiction, but there is hope for you. We learn the 3 C's early on: we didn't Cause this disease, we can't Cure it, and we can't Control it. Your husband doesn't drink because of a difficult post-partum, your happiness, his Dad's anniversary, anxiety, etc etc etc. He drinks because he's an alcoholic. But it's easier to project on others than accept responsibility.
As has been already stated, this is a progressive disease. The fact that he's losing control of his bladder when sleeping means he's not that high functioning. We learn that it's really important to not interfere in their path. Let them experience the consequences of their addiction. As long as we take care of things for them, we help them avoid the very consequence that may lead them to recovery. Let him change the sheets when he urinates, let him schedule his classes. Don't lie for him, don't cover up.
Find an AlAnon meeting near you. It's suggested you try at least 6 classes before deciding if it's for you or not. There is a tremendous amount of understanding and support in those rooms. Many have babysitting. You can't do anything about your husband's drinking, but you can find help for yourself in dealing with it.
Keep posting...we're here for you.